the topic is %26quot;an event that changed your life%26quot;
May 12, 2008 was the day I realized my life was going to change forever. Life as I knew it was over, and there was nothing I could do about it. It was the most horrific thing that has ever happened to me. I was terrified, I did not know what to do or what to expect. The only thing I did know was I was sixteen, and pregnant.
I know that the first thing I had to do was figure out how to tell my parents, that was the hardest part. I decided to text my mother and tell her I thought I was pregnant. She made me go to her house the next morning and take a pregnancy test, it was positive. I then had to tell my boyfriends parents. They took it better than anyone, even though my boyfriend and I had only been together for four months. Then came the hard part, telling my father. He was furious. He would not even talk to me. My parents and I sat down and talked about what I was going to do. They told me I could not give my baby up for adoption. My parents wanted me to have an abortion. I do not believe in abortion so that was out of the question. I knew what I had to do and I was willing to do whatever I had to do to keep my baby. In the end it was my decision and I know I made the right one.
When I went to the doctor for the first time I found out I was two months pregnant. A few short months later I went back and heard the heartbeat and got an ultrasound, I was having a boy! My boyfriend and I had already picked out a name, (name here). A few months and a few hundred doctor visits later I was ready to have my baby. The night of Valentines Day my contractions started.
I woke up to a dull pain in my back, when the pain did not go away I knew it was time. I called my mother and started walking around the house. An hour later I went to the hospital. After another hour of walking they finally told me I was in labor. A few hours later they induced me. The contractions that followed were the most excruciating pain I had ever been in. They gave me Demerol, which did nothing for the pain. Eight hours later I had dilated enough to get my Epidural. Two hours later I had my baby.
After my son was here my life changed dramatically. The father of my baby left us. I was stuck doing everything alone. I do the best I can but to my family it is never enough. Being a single mother is definitely hard. You have to do everything on your own with no help from anyone. I never have time for myself, or time to relax. I don鈥檛 get to go out with my friends, or go see movies. Instead my life is filed with hectic days, sleepless nights, and constant crying. Making the choice to keep my son is the best decision I have ever made, no matter the hours of sleep I miss or the days I want to just give up and quit. It is extremely overwhelming at times but I get through it day by day.
Being a single teen parent is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. There are so many things I have not been able to do since I have a child, but when I look back and think of the things I鈥檝e missed out on I know that I wouldn鈥檛 change it for the world. My son is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Sometimes I do not think I can do it anymore, but when I think of my son and how much I love him it gives me the strength to carry on.
i need suggestions on how to make it better and i need things to add to it..
thanks!!
Can someone grade my college essay?
Your pregnancy is a very good topic for a college essay. It will grab attention and make you stand out. However, your essay is currently more of a story than an essay. No offense, but the people who read your essay don't really want to know about the details of your pregnancy and your son's birth; they want to know how the experience changed you and made you a better person. Talk more about the sacrifices you have made and how the whole experience has made you grow. Then discuss how this prepared you for college. You may want to take out the part about how little time you have now. College admission officers may see this as a sign that you won't have time for school work. Also, don't start your essay by saying %26quot;May 12, 2008 was the day I realized my life was going to change forever.%26quot; It's pretty cliche, and it doesn't stand out. Finally, your use of punctuation needs some attention.
Good luck!
Can someone grade my college essay?
Well the topic is interesting. The beginning of your response drags on. You should have a strong hook, a middle description that is direct and powerful, and the conclusion should say how the event has changed you. I just think you need to go back and rewrite this all with that in mind. Write and outline, and have 2-3 key points that you really want to emphasize. Have a thesis, and remember that a thesis is a Topic+ a controlling idea. The Topic is that you are sixteen and pregnant, now what is the point that you want to get across? The *MAIN* point?The 2-3 key points should emphasize the struggles you went through with yourself (being thrust into a world/life you werent prepared for or expecting?), your family, your friends, or your future.
Hope this helps, good luck!
I cried a little.
:(
This essay doesn't ring true. %26quot;Name here%26quot;?
