I am going to be posting my final essay in College Writing, I was just wondering if there was anything else I could add to help me get a better grade.
Final Essay
Introduction Letter:
I chose the topic I did for this essay, because it was something that I could describe and I felt confident to share it to other readers. I felt this was a strong well written essay, and love is something always everyone experiences in their life, and I felt a lot of readers could relate to it. The process I used in writing this essay was a free write just kind of letting my mind and the keyboard do the work, and then I started to put more effort into it by really getting deep into my emotions. After a little revision, it was a fairly good essay. In this final essay I put more of my thoughts on how love made me feel, and how the love of my life described his feelings as well.
In helping me make this a flawless essay the readers wanted to know more about the person that makes me feel this way, what draws me to this person, and what characteristics makes me fall head over heels. When going over my peer review comments I didn’t ignore any of it, I felt if I followed everything they said it would make it an enjoyable essay to read. You always have to make sure you are satisfying your readers. I used pre-writing as my writing process; it was easy for me to brainstorm because I had so many emotions and feelings about this topic. The rough-draft was the hardest part in writing this essay at first I believe because I had to keep rereading my paragraphs and figuring out if they flowed together, or if they needed to be rewritten. Revising was the easiest part of re-writing my essay, because my peers and instructors gave me a lot of good feedback that I could incorporate into my essay to make it better. Also when re-writing this essay incorporating my feelings and characteristics of my love back into my essay and placing them where it would flow together was fairly hard for me. Enjoy love, it is a marvelous thing, do everything in your power to never let it go. The reader would find my thesis interesting and thought-provoking because love is a hard thing to find and it is a very powerful thing and it can change your whole life around.
Everlasting Love
There was this amazing feeling of exhilaration pulsating through my entire body, enveloping me in a surge of adrenaline. It’s like I have been robbed of my ability to concentrate on anything but my thoughts of him. This certain warmth in my heart told me I could brave anything this world could throw at me and I was unstoppable; I was in love.
His name is Tyler, the most charming and sensitive guy in the world. The first thing that took me away was those baby blue eyes, which were a never ending vast of ocean when I looked in them. He had dark brown hair that curled at the ends in which made him even more adorable. Another thing that drew us together is that we were so different but yet still the same. We loved to hunt, enjoyed the outdoors, and loved to capture scenic views of the sunset. He has always told me that I was as beautiful as the sunset, gleaming softly upon earth. One thing about Tyler is that he has always put me before anyone and anything, which I’m not sure, is a good or bad thing. I was his angel sent down from heaven he always tells me, “I brought joy and adventure into his life.” Tyler’s feelings for me are what every girl wishes for. He describes his love for me as deep and true. He says “my beauty is that of heaven, shining down on all darkness.” Through all the poems and letters I have received from him while we were dating, I know he cannot live without me, and that he lives for me.
Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. “To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others”-Francois Maurice. It’s in music, poetry, art, movies, and most importantly are hearts. Many have found true love, while others tend to seek for their soul mate. Centuries have gone by, relationships have blossomed, and so has love. Yet still no one can give the proper definition of love. The definition of love lies in only in us who have felt it and received it.
Tyler and I’s love story has been exactly like the quote said it would be “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” Tyler walked into my life as if it was always meant to be this way. God told me that he was mine. These past four years have felt like a lifetime and yet this love is still mine and forever will always be mine.
Our love is like a rose with no thorns, always beautiful and never painful; however, there are some days when our rose grows thorns. When I see Tyler he’s like the gleaming morning sun hitting the horizon, nothing coul
Is there anything else I can add to make this a perfect descriptive essay?
Yesterday night I watched it for free here:
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